One of the main problems in our society? (Canada)...

Our society hasn’t adopted the siesta!

A regulated 3-4 hour national rest time!

I’m willing to bet it’s the main reason stress levels are so high, depression is so rampant and volcanoes are erupting all over the world! (Sure, why not!?)

When I was in Southern Italy, walking the busy streets, seeing people everywhere, shops and cars and businesses all running at a steady pace, I hadn’t witnessed a siesta at that point. So, as the streets became less busy, the shops emptying, and the businesses flipping to the “close” side, I wasn’t sure what was happening!

I’m surprised my first thought wasn’t “OH CRAP, IT MUST BE A TERRORIST ATTACK!” but I don’t really think like that (and does that even happen in Italy?) and I was lost in a meditative state of joyful, exhausted, semi wine-drunk bliss- there was no sign of fear in me. In fact, I was so sedated, I’m pretty sure someone could’ve ran at me with a knife and smiling would’ve been my reaction before flinching in fear.

Then our tour guide explained it: it’s siesta time! Everyone goes home, prepares food, spends time with their families, or has some alone time, and then everyone takes a nap together! (Sounds BEAUTUFUL to me!)

My thought: WOW! How come your culture does that and ours doesn’t?! (Another reason I am convinced I have been born on the wrong continent! I totally have culture envy. Even though I love Canada- mostly.)

The tour guide continues to explain that it can get really hot during those ours of the day, so spending it at home, resting, ensures that people’s energy will be conserved. Which also ensures more productivity and positive energy for the evening, while everyone gets on with their day.
So, even though our climate doesn’t really get THAT hot... it can be annoyingly cold, even in summer months (especially Newfoundland!)- so it’s still fair and we would totally benefit from it!

I can see how it would make for a happier, more efficient society. An afternoon nap has a LOT of power!

They seem to have it figured out in Italy and the other siesta countries (Latin American countries (except Brazil), as well as in the Philippines, China, Vietnam, Bangladesh, India, Southern Italy, Greece, Croatia, Malta, the Middle East and North Africa.)

Prime time, middle of the day, you get to hang out with your loved ones, take sometime doing things for yourself, and then napping!? Awesomesauce.

Now. How to get the Canadian government to regulate this!?

Who’s with me!?!!? ;)

Random Blog Alert (home, life, parenting and personal evolution)

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by housework I have thoughts of burning the house down and moving into a clay hut in the woods. Well, ok, everything but the “burning the house down” part… I would just give everything away and leave the house for the next poor shmuck who wants to live in such a “modern” house (and I’m not using those quotation marks loosely there! Wtf is modern anyhow? I like huts. There’s nothing wrong with a hut! (ok. Maybe it’s not perfect, but at least I wouldn’t have to do laundry… because well, if I live in a hut I might as well not wear any clothes, right? Sounds good to me. Though, my hut will need internet connection.)

NOTE TO SELF: answer my child right away when she runs to me saying “mommy look, mommy look, mommy look, mommy look” …because, note: responding on the second “mommy look” is the only other acceptable “mommy look” to respond to.

It’s rude to ignore people! -even IF they are disrupting the best sentence the world has ever seen to untangle a peace sign necklace from a piece of fence from the horse play-set. DO NOT CHOOSE TO IGNORE THE CHILD! Because by the time she gets to the 9th or 10th “mommy look” it will be rage-filled screams of urgency.

Ok. So I exaggerate sometimes.

And exaggerating may go against the “yogic” way, but it makes a more entertaining read.

See? Right there! I justified my use of exaggeration! Thereby, justifying a reason I am not fully living up to the yogic lifestyle I have been learning about for the past 9 months. (RANDOM ENLIGHTENMENT STUDIES OBSERVATION!)

At least now I am more awake to moments I do that. (Well, ok, awake to MOST of the moments I do that.)

Anyhow, after that random interruption, back to whatever it was I was saying or something completely different, I'm not entirely sure:

Attempting to work and study at home, during moments of harvesting creativity and independence in a 2 year old through alone playtime, is quite the juggling act, which, from many time to many time, leads to dropping the flaming torches, or balls or scarves, whatever one feels safer juggling. (NOTE: For anyone who isn’t a parent: even though the child is “playing alone” she is in the same room, right next to me, and I am giving her a lot of my attention, hence the reason I can usually only focus on something for a short amount of time, and why I end up writing about her interrupting me in the middle of a blog post.)

The movie “Motherhood” (Uma is AWESOME in it, btw!) totally reminded me of so many times and things in my life (some “times and things” a little more than others!)
Especially, the part about choosing to stay home with baby, while putting other types of dreams on-hold, well not really “on-hold”, so much as decreasing the amount of hours put into those dreams, and not killing myself in the process.

The millions of new tiny little things (and big humongous things!) the mind starts running with after the babies are born, takes up quite a lot of space and energy in the mind and hours in the day.
All minds are different remember, so for some people, the shift is easy, natural, smooth, and they don’t think about much else, they have the benefit of being able to comfortably not do or worry about much else. Which is great for those people!

But I am totally not one of those people.

And I would’ve been more envious of those people years ago, but yogic belief reveals the harm in it- and I can’t afford any more energy leaking!

My mind needs to process, analyze, evolve, try as many new things, and connect with as many new people, as possible! Therefore, my parenting style reflects this: lets do as much as we can together, with other people, and during our alone times. (That is a summed up version of how I’m living right now.)

Which leads me to point out one of those things in life I’m currently dealing with: the undying feeling that I could be doing more! I need to do MORE! WHY AM I NOT DOING MOOORRRREE!? Which can cause impatient feelings during my days (sometimes feeling suffocated, like a pillow firmly placed over my face (oh yes, and I am NOT exaggerating there!)

Also, this “need to do more” curse, can usually lead to a trail of unfinished projects (and dishes) and drop in confidence, but more on those defects later. ;)

Even though I am doing a lot of study and working and exploring new things, while aiming to be the best Mom I can be- I still battle with the need to DO MORE- MAKE MORE MONEY-BE MORE GODDAMIT!

Luckily, a thing about children: with a surprise hug, giggle, moment of trust or a homemade card, they snap that pillow off my face and remind me of the importance and love with which I brought them into the world and all feelings of impatience about certain things are replaced with feelings of importance of other things yet. (Yes, I tend to write very 16th century poetic sometimes. It’s a flaw readers and natural born editors will have accept about me;)

My kids are the reason I am a mother, the reason I have been able to feel love at its highest capacity. They are the reason I dedicate so much energy into evolving my own mind and life and ways of thinking about the world, in order to love them and support them as much as I can, in as many ways as possible.

Though, I still screw up and get stressed out at times. Because, they, my sweet little love forces, are also, at times, my biggest sources of stress. Which just affords more opportunities to learn and evolve! Thank you my stressful little precious children!)

Meh. I’m not perfect----yet ;)

Now, back to that darn pile of laundry.

i dont kill bugs...

There was a time, many years ago, when I'd scream "KILL IT!" at the sight of anything crawly, except for maybe babies or drunk people, some drunk people. Anything with more than 4 legs would creep me out to the point of begging someone to end its life. What a waste of energy that was! (Not to mention the waste of a lil life force!)
Then one day, about 6 or 7 years ago, I asked myself: wtf is my problem? Why do I act like a sociopath at the sight of a bug? Why do I imagine these things crawling in my orifices, laying a billion eggs that will hatch a billion babies that will chew through my skin to escape? Why? It's irrational! Completely!
SO then I started to love them... from a distance and on the internet, at first.

Then I got closer, in real life. (--> check out the beautiful detail of this spider that was in my mothers window for an entire summer! IT'S GORGEOUS! And builds its house from its BUTT!)


One day, sitting on a back deck, an ant, an inch worm, and a fly all started to crawl toward me (no doubt testing my pledge of love!). I forced myself to suck-it-the-heck-up and let them crawl on my feet (while clenching everything I could clench!) and LO AND BEHOLD I didn't die and there was not one egg laid inside me anywhere! WOW! I fell in love (for real time!) right then and there! Wherein, began my protest of not killing bugs and never allowing anyone else to do it around me (if someone wants the bug gone, I'm happy to escort it back outside).

I even express the rule in my house: no killing bugs in my house! (I've wanted to make a sign that reads something witty like: if you kill a bug in my house, I will kill you. But that's not "witty" so much as it's "threatening" and a lil crazy.)

Me and my partner fell madly in love with spiders one early morning, laying for hours, wired on love. We let a teenyweeny baby spider crawl around our hands, letting it explore from my hand to his. I had been letting them live in random places in the house for a while at that point, but when I noted the remarkable contrast of that itty-bitty bug on his big strong human hand, it really warmed my heart! Bugs (as well as humans) are truly amazing beings! They have purpose and beauty just as anything does. And they are defenceless against us. Which is why I take a stand against the unconscious cruelty of random bug killing (Tho, I still eat chicken? yeah. I'm working on it. It's helping to picture chickens as big feathered vegetables).

(For the record: if your house is being infested with bugs to the point of them crawling on your children and eating all of your food, then yes, a lil genocide might be called for. But be sure to do it from a place of love in your heart, no anger on your tongue... or maybe let them have the house and you move? (Tad overzealous with that last thing?-maybe.))

'no, mom, dont take a picture of my berry-juice face!'

(raspberries, cherries, and strawberries: and it didnt stain her face, wow! lol) (it's even on her nose) ♥

caterpillar go potty too?

she thinks: if i gotta do it, the sprinklers gotta do it too...

sister action shot!

when you lay on the floor, it's an open invite to be POUNCED ON!
(see the fear in the big sisters eyes? ;)

the face of an evil sand-throwing baby:

punk.

My 2 year old daughter invented the best name for a 'fart'...

"BUM BUBBLE!" Haha it's way cuter than the other word ;)

Trying to meditate and do yoga with a 2 yr old running around..

...is pretty much like trying to do anything with a 2 yr old running around... interrupted and incomplete! haha. She breaks my silence by making me laugh and she asks me to do a LOT for her... but i dont mind that! haha
She also makes yoga very dangerous. Childs pose makes me look like a pony, leading to her pouncing on my back. Downward dog: I turn into a bridge for her to go under and try to climb.
And anything that involves one foot/hand on the floor and one raised in the air, is just asking for trouble! I dont look like a horse and i dont look like a bridge, so she just runs at me and hopes for the best. I could really get injured.
I will have to join an evening class. :)
<3

the difference between my blog posts and other peoples:

other people tend to write them in some type of word processor, i tend to think mine in my head while sweeping the floor... i dont get many blog hits from that...

also, i would like to take this opportunity to thank dan, over at willwork4followers.danoah.com, for getting me to point that out to myself with this post of his: http://willwork4followers.danoah.com/2011/03/five-rules-you-should-forget-about.html

tho, cant stay long, have to go, my 2yr old is smashing her hands on my keyborad, but you wouldnt say, b.c im really fast with backspace...

(spot the typo in that last line and you win todays "spot the typo"!

xo

One of those nights… when the super ego comes out to play…

So many things happen in the run of a day, in the run of an evening…
So many thoughts rush on by. We either attach or not attach.

Someone threw a snowball at my windshield as I was driving 50 down a dark road at 10pm on a Friday night. I didn’t even flinch, didn’t get a scare, didn’t react with a jump of frady-cat, like I might’ve before, years ago… (Though, even sometimes now, if someone, in my own house, quietly turned a corner and faced me, I’d prolly jump and scream a little bit-- but I blame the conditioning of movies for that… I've seen that scene in movies a LOT! So I expect it to be a clown with a knife, I’m like: “AH!! Oh.. it’s only you… DEEP-BREATH OUT“( “You” being my partner, who I know is the only one home with me, but for some reason, if we cross paths unexpectedly, I tend to scream out an ear deafening yelp as if he is holding a machete, aiming for my throat, (but then I'll giggle and see that he is the one who now looks scared.)

But anyhow..
The snowball thing…

It showed me how awake to the moment I can be... it’s something I have been learning, been working on… the ability to quickly asses a situation at hand, and react accordingly, more rationally. This practice has helped me feel more awake in my life than I have in years (if I ever have!)
I try hard to not attach to events when they arise, just let them run their course… I asses a moment, let it fly on by, move on to enjoy the next one…

It seems as though there are times when I'm so awake and consciously alert, that I cant even be scared of a snowball whacking off my window on a dark rainy drive!

I can be so in-tune with being in the moment, that as soon as the snowball hit the window, and I processed it, that moment to jump in fright was gone, the snowball was gone… I tuned into what happened so fast that I didn’t have time to be frightened, it kind of looked like this:
Me driving along, wide awake, in a consciously self-absorbed state of self analysis and awareness of the moment, turn to check the time on my phone- *!!!WHACK!!!!* *BLANK STARE*“that was a snowball” “on the window” “its not broken” “no big deal” *HERES WHERE MY BODY SLIGHTlY SITS MORE UP-RIGHT*, (a subtle physical reaction which would normally accompany a huge jump, rush of scared feelings, sweat and a rapid heartbeat and maybe some angry words about the SOB who threw the snowball* “whoa that was crazy” “I wasn’t scared at all” “hey that person should not have done that” MEEP-MEEP-MEEP! “hey, why did I meep the horn?” … “that person probably thinks I was meeping out of anger, giving that person a false sense of control, DAMNIT! Why did I meep the horn! I wasn’t angry, I was just sayingL HAY!” “oh well, I meeped the horn, that persons reaction is that persons reaction, im done reacting about it, let. It go…” (yes, I really do think like this.)
LONG SILENT PAUSE (that being about 7 seconds) “Hey. That was kinda cool. How I didn’t jump and get scared.”Though, maybe that means I was lost in thought?” “That it’s not that I'm “so awake”, it’s that im THAT unconscious!” “That, omg, I cant even react to a snowball hitting the window!” “OMG what is wrong with me!?!?”
*PAUSE* “oh, hey! I'm doing that thing again, that super ego crap! Guh!”

Then I continued my drive home.. (taking into account, everything I just wrote up there, ran through my mind in under 26 seconds).

FYI: it took me longer to write this post than it did for that entire situation to unfold!

a difference between 2 yr olds and 10 yr olds..

2 year olds take great pride and joy in helping with the laundry... the 10 year olds.. not so much.

one of the most annoying things about a 2 yr old?

their fascination with dipping cookies in tea combined with there underdeveloped knowledge of basic physics ... in other words, they dont realize over-dipping leads to tea-soaked chunks of cookie falling all over the place.. so yeah the over-dipping is slightly annoying. with pieces falling into the tea, onto the table, over the floor, and into the socks...
but the time spent together is beautiful!

you have no idea how unconscious i am about some things!

NO IDEA!
you may THINK you have an idea...
OOOOOH but you DONT! lol ;)

“You should be a model”

Should I be? Why? So someone can cake me in makeup, drape me in fancy (or ridiculous!) clothes, and take pictures of me and use photofinishing until I look nothing like myself so you can look at them and see some kind of fake beauty that pleases you and other idiots, while causing unrealistic ideals of beauty for other women who look nothing like the picture of me that I also look nothing like?? Why SHOULD I do that? Would it make YOU happy? Do you think that’s all I should be? That, for being small, I somehow owe that to people?
I have a small body, long hair and eyelashes so that’s what i SHOULD do?
To please who? For what gain? Its all bullshit.
Don’t tell me what I should do.

wholeheartedly believes...

 ...the people who's role it is to stick stickers on merchandise hate their jobs so much that they stick them in the WORST possible places... just to piss off the people who buy the crap.

i dont care what you think!!!

so what do you think about that?
wait...shit!! damit!!
back to square one.

hmm.. have you ever...

...spent several minutes trying to open something that has already been opened?

the worst way to have eggs?

scrambled... with runny yokes.

ew.

im really going to miss these years...

when my baby gets old enough to run in the room without tripping up and falling...funny times.