The Want-to-run-through-the-woods-naked Urge. Like grass peeking through the pavement.(as appeared on elephant journal)

Out for a late night walk.

That primal, want-to-run-through-the-woods-naked urge strikes as I notice grass peeking up through the cracked pavement.

I am that grass.

I am struggling to rise above the layers of asphalt covering my raw earth.

All of me is striving to blossom, to unleash my potential into a full open field of tall, green grass.

But so far, like the earth under pavement, only pieces of me have found cracks in the hard, grey layering.

Glimpses of my truth are peaking out in clusters of fighting, bright green blades of pure, earthly grass. More and more everyday, every season.

Unlike me, the grass did not weep when the hot asphalt was poured over it.

Nor did the grass seeds underneath become stricken with despair over the defeat of the last blades that were covered.

No.

They gracefully bowed down to the destruction.

And the seeds continue to be dormant, patient until the pavement cracks and bestows the required elements for growth: the right amount of water, the right amount of air and the right about of sunshine. No emotional bullshit attached.

My own dormant character aspects work in the same way (albeit, they had/have their fair share of emotional bullshit attached!). They’re waiting for the proper elements to line up, to aid in my growth. My required elements may not be as simplistic as water, air and sunshine. Though, maybe symbolically they are.

Maybe my three elements are: the right amount of truth, the right about of forgiveness, and the right amount of love. Perhaps when those three elements combine in areas of my psyche, is when growth is stimulated and potential is reached.

My road differs from the paved road in another way.

I am the one who controls whether or not city workers come to add more layers, covering up my protruding grass. Unlike real roads, I have the conscious ability to not let anyone, city worker or not, destroy my freshly grown greeneries—the freedoms I worked so hard to bring to the open air. I have the conscious choice to stop asphalt workers dead in their tracks: DO NOT ADD ANOTHER LAYER— OPEN FIELD IN PROGRESS!

I have evolved enough to know that it is, ultimately, my choice to become buried and destroyed.

Realizing I have choice and control over my road, my spirit, my potential is in itself a cluster of grass protruding from my road, my path. Revealing another simple, yet profound, truth that has taken years to escape through the cracks.

If you need to think I am… then … I am here for you.

If you need to think I am… beautiful … I am here for you.

If you need to think I am… hideous … I am here for you.

If you need to think I am… a genius … I am here for you.

If you need to think I am… an imbecile … I am here for you.

If you need to think I am… a warrior … I am here for you.

If you need to think I am… a wuss … I am here for you.

If you need to think I am… greater … I am here for you.

If you need to think I am… lesser … I am here for you.

If you need to think I am… equal … I am here for you.

If you need to think I am… anything … I am here for you.

a title-less poem...

if only you knew the depth, to which my soul could soar
you'd ride the waves inside yourself, with consciousness as your oar
you'd feel that depth inside yourself, because you see it in me
at times, seeing the truth in others, is whats needed to help us Be

i'm here to show you the light, the truth remains unchanged
the dark with which you hide yourself, is binding you down, like chains
let us all surrender to love, because we control our bliss
let's all open our hearts, to fully feel life's sweet kiss

© tammy m carew ;)

a poem titled: i am...

i am...

weakened by the weak minds
strengthened by the strong
sticking to the like minds
to surely not go wrong
trusting in the brave hearts
fearful of the weak
i will start listening to my own heart
to hopefully break this streak

time is mending
time is bending
time is full of shit
time is healing
time is revealing
time is every little bit

if now is here- it cant be gone
nor is it up ahead
now is now. its all there is
doesnt matter whats been said

change our ways
to change our days
to change this sad society
i shut out the lies and recognize
it's all inside of me

aham bramasmi it'll cause me
to shine my light on through
aham bramasmi it'll cause me
to see the light in you
the light in you- the light in me
the light encompassing
delight in us- enlighten us
and Imagine, we will sing.
i am.

© tammy m carew