If you need to think I am… then … I am here for you.


If you need to think I am… beautiful … I am here for you.
If you need to think I am… hideous … I am here for you.
If you need to think I am… a genius … I am here for you.
If you need to think I am… an imbecile … I am here for you.
If you need to think I am… a warrior … I am here for you.
If you need to think I am… a wuss … I am here for you.
If you need to think I am… greater … I am here for you.
If you need to think I am… lesser … I am here for you.
If you need to think I am… equal … I am here for you.
If you need to think I am… anything … I am here for you.

Directly Experiencing an Enlightenment Retreat... (an email to a friend)

one of my "direct experiences" (working on the question "who am i") was coming to see fully how WE are evolution.. evolution in action. it's only when we consciously work to evolve ourselves, can we then evolve humanity as a whole!! it hit me like a ton of bricks! right in the chest!
with that, all my self conscious worries fell away! it felt amazing to feel that much power and importance, in not just me, but EVERYone!

the other direct experience i had (working on the question: what is another?) was fully understanding and KNOWING how we are all one. we are one and the same. each and every person. i saw it with such clarity. i've always "believed it" but i never really KNEW it.. amazing.. and i saw that the thing that makes us feel "separate" from each other (and ourselves!) is the mind. the egoic tendencies, self consciousness and self dissatisfaction-- THOUGHTS!. the only time we can feel fully One is when we are present in the moment with another person... without any thoughts of past or future, or worries, or anything outside of whats happening in the Now of that moment. it's such a powerful understanding.
i wil dedicate my self to not slipping back into that loss of control of thought. being somewhere else in my mind when i'm in the NOW with someone (especially my family!). it causes me to feel isolated, and the other person can feel that lack of presence.. that lack of love in the moment.

it's truly amazing!!! haha!

my entire outlook evolved with those realizations.

(im now working on a book about it all (and more) !!
its called: "We Are Tools Used By Active Evolution..Seriously"
(i had to add the "seriously" to appeal to a larger audience lol show the lightheartedness of this beautiful theory..
I'M PUMPED!! and everyone should go to an Enlightenment Intensive!

a title-less poem...

if only you knew the depth, to which my soul could soar
you'd ride the waves inside yourself, with consciousness as your oar
you'd feel that depth inside yourself, because you see it in me
at times, seeing the truth in others, is whats needed to help us Be

i'm here to show you the light, the truth remains unchanged
the dark with which you hide yourself, is binding you down, like chains
let us all surrender to love, because we control our bliss
let's all open our hearts, to fully feel life's sweet kiss

© tammy m carew ;)

a poem titled: i am...

i am...

weakened by the weak minds
strengthened by the strong
sticking to the like minds
to surely not go wrong
trusting in the brave hearts
fearful of the weak
i will start listening to my own heart
to hopefully break this streak

time is mending
time is bending
time is full of shit
time is healing
time is revealing
time is every little bit

if now is here- it cant be gone
nor is it up ahead
now is now. its all there is
doesnt matter whats been said

change our ways
to change our days
to change this sad society
i shut out the lies and recognize
it's all inside of me

aham bramasmi it'll cause me
to shine my light on through
aham bramasmi it'll cause me
to see the light in you
the light in you- the light in me
the light encompassing
delight in us- enlighten us
and Imagine, we will sing.
i am.

© tammy m carew

(over) analyzing a dream had by a friend in a group...

A QUOTE FROM THE DREAM:
“Then he says, “Look at the place it is so nice it has a lovely couches and sofas for me to relax on. There is often food up in the kitchen the ladies leave behind or give me from there meetings. I really do not want to leave. This is a wonderful place for me.”
We tell him again that he has to leave and go to his own home and my friend will give him a ride. He then walks over to a table and there is a drawer in the table and he takes something out and we tell him that whatever it is it does not belong to him so he has to put it back. We convince him to put it back in the drawer.
So eventually after much persuasion we take the man out to my friends car. I am on one side and my friend is on the other side and we help him get to her car. We then drive him to his house and help him in to the house. He said, “You know I will be back to that place. I will be back to the church” I tell him, “You cannot come back you are not allowed. You only go back there when you are invited.”

all of that symbolizes to much to me!!
The woman and her friend represent the inner, true self, befriending the outer, more human self.
I see that man representing a negative event in life or a negative thought pattern or belief. We want him to go. Want to free our space of it all.
Right away, this dream reveals the comfort that negative things can be afforded. We are holding on so tightly to these traumas and belief systems that they are being nurtured by us! Growing up big and strong because of our unconscious devotion to them! By holding on to past traumas and subconscious defects in thought, it’s as if we do offer these awful things a place to rest and kick up their feet! They get fed by the “food up in the kitchen the ladies leave behind or give”.
And ladies, as well as gentlemen, do leave behind scraps of emotion and thoughts to let this uncomfortable creature reside inside us, as comfy as can be.

And this part: He then walks over to a table and there is a drawer in the table and he takes something out and we tell him that whatever it is it does not belong to him so he has to put it back. We convince him to put it back in the drawer.”

That to me is so powerful! It’s revealing the actual power we each have as individuals! We just have to politely take our power back.
As john lennon said: power to the people!
We own our power and its up to us to live it!
And if we all decided to take our power back (like democracy implies we can): AT THE EXACT SAME TIME! then so much of whats held fast in our own personal systems and in all those external systems that take away our freedoms, will eff off!! (for lack of a more fitting description! lol).
Most people think: ah. We cant take any control (not even of OUR MINDS!), the government has all the control, or the oil companies or the media or the church has all the control, but not us as people! No WE don’t have any control over this kind of “fixed thought”. Not me, not you—just THEM, those people OUT THERE.
The only reason they do have any control at all is because WE are letting them.
We are sitting back and letting “those people” or “those things” or “those thoughts” (who or what ever THEY are?) take full control of everything! All things! Even our own belief systems and personal stories!!
But in reality, in many ways, it is US who are “those people” and “those things”. Whatever we are holding on to is what is affecting us the most. (yes I went pretty deep with this dream! (even tho it was had by someone else!) Haha)

I think we are all learning that we must not give up our power of being to anyone or anything, as much as we can at first, and then hopefully indefinitely.
We must hold fast to the potential of creating lives we want and lives that are better for everyone.
If we do start the journey of letting go and taking back our power, in the beginning it may at first feel very foreign and awkward to try and get rid of old ways of thinking or being in the world. For one, we may still be “so mad about that!”(lol) but holding tightly to negative memories and emotions creates negative life experiences for us.
When we cant control it, or maybe more fitting, when it begins to control us, we start feeling negative almost all the time, because those issues are always playing in the back ground (consciously or subconsciously), ruining our lives almost constantly!

This part, “We tell him again that he has to leave and go to his own home and my friend will give him a ride”, reveals just how polite and gentle we can be in letting go of past negativities and thoughts. We just want them to leave, go back to where you came from and stay there. We want to get on with our lives.

We need to take back our power! Let those thoughts go and work on new, more pleasant thoughts to enter! Make those things “GO HOME” like the dream says!