why does it seem that people that i know become people who say hello when i see them on the street. (THERES VERY VITAL WORDS AND MEANINGS TYPO-ED OUT OF THIS LINE, BUT I CANT FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY WERE. THIS SENTENCE WAS NOT MEANT TO SAY WHAT IT DOES, AND IF SOMEONE FIGURES OUT WHAT I MEANT, YOU WIN A PRIZE!!)
i know i was trying to say something about running into people that i know and not saying hello to them or noticing them not saying hello to me .. only i was tryin way too hard to be poetic during that first sentence and lost all sight of what the heck i was trying to say.
i, for the most part, love saying hello to people i know when i run into them randomly.
Even if it will be slightly (or painfully) awkward. (tho there are times when im just not in the mood to talk or go through any introductions if im with other people)
i usually always make sure to have good thoughts or feelings about people i see that i know.
but when i notice that someone seems as though they are ignoring or avoiding me, i sometimes get paranoid, (or maybe its being perceptive and im actually picking up on something that person is thinking or feeling, (tho, trusting in intuition, has been argued, to run the risk of being wrong and trusting in too much of your own personal stories and beliefs about that person. Maybe what i think that person must be thinking or feeling about me, really is only a paranoid delusion created by some entity inside myself (i like to call it “ego”). how do i know the intuition, that i work so hard to trust, is accurate and something that i should trust?)
So sometimes when people seemingly “ignore me”, i wonder if they even remember who i am? Maybe they dont recall meeting me or knowing me at all. if notice someone avoiding my eye contact, i wonder things like: do they not like me? did i offend them or disgust them in any way? have i done something, to them or someone they know? do they [think] they know something about me?
but sometimes, i try to reassure myself, and think: hey, maybe theyre just not in a talking sort of mood.
so how do i know the things im thinking of the people in my life are the things that are right and i should be believing?
i have to work to remain open-minded about it all. trust that i pose the ability to trust my intuition and guide, and to still act from a place of love and hope to change any held perceptions some person may hold of me into something more in the present moment, right now, when it truly counts.
all we really can give each other is our undivided love and attention and quest for creativity while we are in the same room and breathing/being space- no matter what past preconceived notions may have left us thinking.
obviously it may be hard sometimes to say hello to everyone in a room or public building, and even more impossible to run on deeply creative driven conversations, but i like to try and slip those types of convos in there too.
if we cant psychically say hi or anything more, its the smile across the room to say “hey, i know you!? How ya doin!?” that counts. we can have those little moments. they count just as much as the big long drawn out, creative driven ones!
wonder what people think? wonder what they feel? wonder do they ponder self-created ego stories about things about me and themselves, that may or may not be true? or wonder if they simply feel the love, and that is it. just wanting to smile at me and be smiled at by me.
oh people! us messed up, confused, amazing creatures!