Sometimes I forget (or am too lazy to reap) the benefits of waking up and spending 15-30 minutes alone in meditation, being silent and grateful for all the things in life. so not taking that time, sometimes, really posses the possibly of my day going unplanned or undesired.
It’s important to not let one situation lay the setting for the rest of the day. One or two “bad moods” could give you a life time of “bad moods”… if you dont pay attention to them.
When sleep is important, and when im not getting enough, getting up a half an hour before everyone else… to sit and be… is not always easy. (I have set a goal to eventually do it everyday. But right now. It’s a tough one.)
The morning ran rather smoothly, baby slept until the alarm went off (from the last time she woke up!), that’s a good thing- when im dying for “just a few more minutes”.
Big Sis was no trouble waking… and how could she be? I always wonder; she gets a puppy and a baby and a mommy coming in the room to smile and snuggle and, in ralfees case, lick her awake. (And usually to the ringtone of “here comes the sun”. best alarm ever!)
So, then we all ate and got ready and then we drove Sis to school.
That also went well; “bye” “love you” “have a nice day” smiles
I was happy, but I was still feeling groggy and tired and a little blah.
Then me and baby pulled in the driveway.
And everything changed.
The next 10 minutes were intense. (even bunny was stopping her foot in the cage! And when she does that- she means SHUT THE HELL UP IM TRYING TO BE A BUNNY OVER HERE!)
The last 3 mornings she’s threatened to stay in her car seat, letting me know by the way she hugged into the straps at her chest, that she meant business, she was staying in this seat.
So, ok. I don’t OWN you. Stay there for a bit if you want.
“ok, moms going in, you staying here?”
she shrugs tighter, a lil more baby stern, and gives a very pronounced “hm!”
“ok, moms going in, I love you! See you soon.”
I turn back around, expecting an arm reach from her.
Ok. I'll get out. Shut the door. Wait for the “MOM!”
Nope. Nothing. Ok. Turn and say “bye”
The first 2 days, that was enough: arms out, screamed “mom”, revealed by her expression she wants to come too!
But today. Pfft. Nope.
I turned away and said bye. And nothing again.
This time I went up the stairs and stood and looked down at her.
STILL NOTHING! This child is a rock!
Ok. I turn and walk to the front door. (surely THAT will be enough to make her scream out for me to come back.- but nope.)
I go in the house. Close the door, open the door and come back out again and walk down to her window, hoping to make her smile from the delightful surprise I was intending.
Nope. It pissed her off. A lot.
She screamed!!! Then I opened the door. She screamed even more!
“ok”, I thought, “I cant leave you here in the car we need to go in” and proceeded to struggle with her to unbuckle the straps (shes got a mighty bearhug!). Which, of course, made her freak out even more.
My soothing words were nothing but irritation to her.
Fine. I'll stop talking. Just unbuckle and smile.
She put up quite the struggle, but I got her out.
She flung dead-weight and tried to flop back on to the seat, but I got reflexes like a cat! She is NOT getting away that easily!
I finally get her into the house. Lay her on the floor and she goes nuts and heads for the stairs. It’d be ok if she was stable enough to climb up them, but today she can barely lay on the floor without falling.
Flailing around like a captive prisoner who is so guilty he is forcibly being angry about the entire situation!
I need to keep her from rolling down the stairs in a tear-filled heap, so I carry her up the stairs, feet and arms straight out in both directions, screams wailing from her throat.
Lay her safely on the floor, with the baby gate safely locked, and she proceeds to reenact that scene from ‘the exorcist’… remember that really scary one?
She’s an over actor for sure! because if the scene in the movie went on that long, there’s no way I would have watched it to the end!
It took a long time and a lot of taking off shoes and putting shoes back on and zipping and unzipping her coat (and I don’t just mean I was trying to take them off and she wanted them back on, no no. all of this was inside of her! On and then off and then on and then off; unzip, zip, unzip, zip. AHHHHH!
Tho, my asking if she wanted to take her shoes off was what triggered it, so I guess its my fault somehow? Lol
Oh human kids! How I do love your ways!
So, all of that triggered this facebook status:
[babys] starting the morning with a tantrum to go back in the car. she wont even LISTEN to the benefits of meditation ;)
and ps: its not really "one of those days" anymore! things have gotten stress-less ;)